Ok….I have a why question in your typical two year old fashion. Why is it when someone passes away, you feel the urge to tell them everything. Every thing I have conquered I want and need to show my Father in law.

I picked my spinning back up in March and I keep thinking I can’t wait to show him. Why?
I picked my tatting back up this month and I keep thinking I can’t wait to show him. Why?

I keep thinking I want to go to Morocco and go to the wool market with him. Why?

I guess it is because I know he would appreciate what I am doing with my fiber arts because he loved them too.

He was a remarkable man really.

Last week before the end of finals I dreamed of him and my dad. They were playing cards together. My dad considered him a friend and he considered my dad a friend.

I have read some where that when you dream of the dead it is a real thing, because the dead can not deceive. So perhaps this was a way for them to let me know everything was okay. That they are happy and together playing cards.

I am also guessing that there is no language barrier where ever they are. 🙂

I am sure that eventually I will get over wanting and waiting to show him my finished projects. Someday.

I miss you guys very much!


7 thoughts on “Why?

  1. Raven says:

    My thoughts are with you Hanane.

    I can relate to how you feel. It’s been a few years now since my grandmother passed on, but still, every time I knit a stitch I think of her and wish I could show her. Over time something changed. It use to be very painful to think of her because I miss her so much. Slowly it has become so that knitting is now a way to feel connected to her.

    I hope what you say about dreams is true. It sounds like a lovely dream you had.

  2. shellssells says:

    I am sorry that you and your family are going through this, but I am very glad to see that you are writing about it. Thank you for sharing a small piece of him with us.

  3. Mavis says:

    Thank you Hanane for your reflection. In March I had a vivid dream of my grandmother (who died nearly thirty years ago), her brother my Uncle Alec who died before her, and my mother playing cards. Just a few days later my precious mother died. My feelings were very positive – although I couldn;t explain it. I like your wisdom that the dead cannot deceive.

  4. tikkunknitter says:

    I’m so sorry for your family’s loss, Hanane. The warmth of your feeling for your father-in-law is palpable. Perhaps you might draw on your reflections, create something in honor of or inspired by him. Last year I painted an entire sukkah on my (recently deceased) grandmother’s dining room table. It was a special way to remember her (my memory of early childhood is flooded with recollections of Passover dinners at that table, so many years ago).
    Hoping you all are well, Leslie

  5. Mary Lynn says:


    I hope and pray that you never get over that feeling of wanting to show him your projects. I believe he knows. I know that my Mom and Dad know. And it is a blessing to know that no matter how far you go, they will always be there as a guide and source of peace and knowledge.

    God bless,

    Mary Lynn

  6. Solaan says:

    It’s ten years since I was widowed and over that time I’ve acquired different hand skills (to stay sane and alive) and now I make many things my beloved never saw me do. I was stitching a hat last week, thinking about him, as usual, wishing he could see it, and I felt him smiling at me, shaking his head as if I was being a silly. Our loved ones can see us, our hopes, our sadnesses, our triumphs. Sometimes it’s hard to remember they are only on the other side of the curtain, always with us, always loving us.
    Peace to you.

  7. claire says:

    Oh yes that was so your dad & father in law as you say the dead connot decieve how nice for you that they came to show you my mother was a fantastic knitter till 2major & quite a few minor strokes took away her left sides mobility 2 days after she died my best friend whos quite *spooky* rang me & said I saw your mum last night she was knitting & told me see I can do it now and Im still good she was sitting with a few other ladies who were all crafting sorry for your familys loss but you will be able to show him what you do because he is still here

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